


go ahead and start talking (i'll pick up the slack)

by pseudoanalytics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Confessions, Developing Relationship, First Dates, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 17:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20746169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudoanalytics/pseuds/pseudoanalytics
Summary: Something wasn’t registering in Tendou’s mind, that much was clear. "Obviously he’s missing a few details," Wakatoshi said. "But he’s handsome. He’s in an ad. And he makes me think of you."The smile Tendou gave him made him feel like he’d started speaking in English or had grown a second left arm."You’re something else!" Tendou laughed. His whole mouth was open again, letting Wakatoshi see straight down his throat. "You tried to describe me and you decided to say that I have perfect hair and a perfect face and I look like I stepped out of an ad!""Yes. Because it’s true," Wakatoshi said, and that shut Tendou right up.





	go ahead and start talking (i'll pick up the slack)

**Author's Note:**

> it's ushiten week, so after sitting on this for far too long, i can finally release it into the wild
> 
> DAY 1 || CONFESSIONS, FIRSTS
> 
> (ch.2 coming on day 7)

After the Miyagi First-Years' Training Camp ended, there really wasn't much left to do.

Wakatoshi attended practice on and off, but since the primary goal was to improve the team for next year, he wasn't too useful except as an opponent to practice against. The first year setter who tossed to him wasn't _ bad _ per say. He just wasn't at Shirabu or Semi's level, which meant Wakatoshi really wasn't getting the workout he needed.

He went for a lot of runs and he worked through his own set of drills whenever possible. The exercise gym on campus had weights and equipment that definitely came in handy, but without the all-consuming time-suck that was volleyball practice, Wakatoshi found himself with considerable free time.

Or at least, he would have, if Tendou hadn't been there to monopolize on it.

It wasn't obnoxious or even a mild inconvenience. Wakatoshi actually enjoyed it immensely. He'd look forward to the knock on his door each day that signaled Tendou's arrival. He was pretty fond of reclining on the floor of his dorm room, reading manga and watching Tendou snack on carrot sticks. He also liked when they would go for runs. Usually Wakatoshi would head out first, making sure to get his full hour and a half in before swinging back by the school so Tendou could join him for his cooldown laps. 

But the exercise was not Wakatoshi's favorite part. He preferred the end of the evening, when Tendou, sweaty and limp with exhaustion, would refuse his own cooldown, instead choosing to flop onto the grassy slope just past the entrance to the school grounds. Then Wakatoshi would join him, and they would play something that Tendou had invented for them back in their second year: the Monologue Game.

The rules were simple: one person picked a topic, the broader the better, and the other person had to talk about it for as long as possible. You weren't really supposed to interrupt or ask questions, but Tendou usually did to help prompt Wakatoshi along when he faltered. He didn't know how a winner was declared — after all, Tendou always managed to go for far longer than he did — but it was fairly fun nonetheless. There wasn't much pressure to make perfect sense, and as long as he stayed on topic, the actual words didn't seem to matter. It was more freeing than he'd thought it sounded and he'd gotten much better at it since Tendou had first created the game.

"Okay, Wakatoshi-kun," Tendou said as he finally caught his breath well enough to speak. His arms were crossed behind his head, exposing the armpits of his shirt, dark with sweat. "You wanna talk today? I'm too tired to think."

Wakatoshi had long since dried off. The last leg of their run had been a relaxing pace for him, so beyond a light sheen across his forehead from the humidity, he was more than comfortable in the cool grass. "You should elevate your head," he said to Tendou, who was laying upside down on the hill, with his feet up by Wakatoshi's face. "It will improve your circulation."

"Can't move or I would."

Wanting to be helpful, Wakatoshi hoisted himself up, gripped Tendou's wrists and swiveled his body to lay properly.

"Whee…" Tendou mumbled. "I'm gonna have bad stains on my ass now."

Wakatoshi blinked as he laid back down again. "You should say 'butt' or 'rear.'"

"Ass. Ass stains."

"Hmm."

"Okay, there's your topic," Tendou said. "Swearing."

Wakatoshi took a moment to try and collect his thoughts. "I'm… not a fan of profanity. I don't mind when others use it, but I don't feel the need myself. Frustration and anger are easier to release through physical exertion." He paused and studied the sky where the clouds were turning soft reds and oranges as the sun set. "I can't think of a time when the emotional stress would be high enough in the moment to necessitate cursing." He trailed off again, out of practice and unsure of how to continue.

"Really?" Tendou asked, ever helpful. "Not even when you played against Shouyou's team?"

Wakatoshi felt his brow furrow slightly. "No. Back then, the only way I wanted to express myself was by winning the match. I wanted to spike past him and show all of Karasuno that we were better. Taking the victory would have been better than swearing at him."

Tendou hummed thoughtfully under his breath. "Yeah, you know, I don't think I've ever heard you swear. Not even an occasional 'Damn it!' or something."

"I know how. It's just never been useful." Wakatoshi saw Tendou turn his head in his peripheral vision. There was something challenging in his half-lidded eyes and wobbly smirk. Just when Wakatoshi was about to move on and discuss how he was okay with profanity in media, a single red eyebrow crooked slightly. He wasn't typically one to react to taunts, but the talk of Hinata Shouyou still had him a little heated. "I've said 'damn' before," he said, a bit childishly.

Tendou's expression cracked into one of pure joy, his mouth dropping open in a grin. "Whoa! You sound so cool! Say something else!"

He considered his options and decided that following up with something more benign like 'ass' would only lead Tendou to continue asking for more and more words. Wakatoshi's specialty in volleyball was a powerful finishing move that left his opponents speechless in its wake. So he employed the same tactic and turned his own head to meet Tendou's eyes.

"Fuck," he said.

Tendou sat bolt upright, despite his previous claims of being too tired to move. "Oh shit! Wakatoshi-kun!"

"It shouldn't be that surprising," he said. "I know what 'fucking' is."

Tendou's eyes bugged out even more, and his neck craned forward like he had no clavicles to impede it. "You don't even mean just the swear word! You mean like, the actual _ action _ of fucking?"

"Yes? That's what it means."

"I guess! But still!" Tendou flopped onto his back again, face smug. "Even _ you _ aren't immune to thinking about sexy stuff, huh?"

Wakatoshi frowned a little. His gaze tracked from Tendou's ear to his nose to the sky once more. The clouds were a brighter vermillion now, but they held no clues of how to respond. "Of course. Love becomes a common interest in many people around our age."

"Love too? Wow, Wakatoshi. Sounds like someone is a bit of a romantic!"

"Romance seems nice."

"This is so cool!" Tendou reached up in the air with both his hands, flexing his fingers like he could somehow stir the fading colors above them. "I'm breaking the rules and changing your topic. Now it's romance. I've wanted to ask before, but it didn't seem like something you'd have much to say about!"

This was a harder theme than swearing had been, but Wakatoshi dutifully searched for a way to begin. "I probably don't think about love as often as others do. Because… I think that volleyball is more important for the most part. I don't have time to look for a partner, and I don't know any of the people who _ do _ confess to me."

"So you don't take them seriously?" Tendou asked, but then he snorted. "You have a funny look on your face."

Wakatoshi wasn't aware that he did. "Why would I date someone I don't know?" he asked instead.

"To get to know them!" said Tendou. "How will you meet people if you don't try?"

"I'll meet them as friends first."

"You really are a romantic! This is amazing. It's like seeing _ another _ secret side of you."

Wakatoshi remembered the rules of their game and carried on valiantly. "I think that companionship sounds nice. Someone to spend time with. Someone who shares your passions and goals. My father…" He stopped again, unsure if even he knew where his monologue was heading. Tendou didn't say a word, silently waiting for more. Wakatoshi took it as approval and permission. "My father told me that playing volleyball at a higher level means meeting new and more interesting people. He often talked about the team dynamic that he enjoyed, and how much he looked up to his ace at the time. For most of grade school, I didn't understand why that was important. As long as you were a strong player, why did it matter how you interacted with your team?" 

He sat up on the hill and let his heels dig into the ground to keep from sliding. The sun was getting closer and closer to vanishing beneath the horizon and it let off streams of golden light that turned everything vibrant and anticipatory. "Then in junior high I finally understood. The relationship you have with your team is incredibly important too. You help each other grow and give each other support. At that point I didn't know why dating would ever be necessary. The team could fulfill that role instead."

"Wow," Tendou piped up. He had humor in his voice, but Wakatoshi didn't think it was the mocking variety. "You were just going to date your whole team then?"

"No." That wasn't right. Maybe he hadn't been clear enough. "It just seemed that the team was all the companionship I needed." He glanced down at Tendou, who was pulling up small handfuls of grass to pick at. That wasn't good for the lawn, so he reached over to gently still Tendou's hands. Something passed over Tendou's face. It was gone too quickly for Wakatoshi to analyze, though he kept the memory of it squirreled away to consider later. "Of course, now we're in high school. So I can see it. Having a partner is a different kind of relationship than with a team. You're even closer, I think, and there's something to be gained by being exclusive."

"So…" Tendou drawled, continuing to stare at his hands even though Wakatoshi had already released them. "Are you saying that if you knew the person who confessed, and you thought they'd make a good… companion or whatever, that you'd be willing to date someone?" His face still looked a little off to Wakatoshi. There was something about it… It wasn't the wide eyes or pinched mouth. That was fairly normal for Tendou when he was particularly enthusiastic about something, and it seemed he felt that way about getting Wakatoshi to open up about things like this. Wakatoshi studied him closer, knowing that his hesitation to answer was fine and wouldn't frustrate his audience.

No, the difference wasn't in how Tendou looked, it was in his whole body language. His shoulders were raised and pinched, even though he was on his back. The whole thing screamed _ tension _ but that was probably his excitement over hearing Wakatoshi's response. The most surprising part was that he was motionless. Tendou wasn't fidgeting or blinking rapidly. His hands were clenched in stationary fists on his thighs, and his feet weren't tapping to a tune only he could hear. He was completely in the moment, the way he got when he was figuring out how to read an opposing setter's movements.

"Possibly," said Wakatoshi. "Yes. I think I would." The problem wasn't admitting this. The problem was that while Tendou was describing some mystery acquaintance of his, Wakatoshi already had someone in mind. In fact, he had for at least a year. But he was also cautious and hyperaware of his own shortcomings in communication, which made him unwilling to risk jeopardizing the team's balance or his only truly close friendship with an ill-received confession. Especially if said person was lying in the grass next to him right now, hanging on his every word like he just might be able to read Wakatoshi's mind and figure it all out.

The answer made Tendou sit up too. His hands slid out across the lawn, stopping just shy of Wakatoshi's shoes. He was leaning into his space, too close for comfort. "Really?" he drawled with far less inflection than usual. A completely unreadable tone.

Wakatoshi knew he personally had a reputation for his poker face. Apparently he was very difficult to read, but he suddenly felt it was the opposite. He actually had a pinch of concern that his thoughts were being broadcast openly. Every twitch of Tendou's pupils meant that he was taking in another micro-expression, another clue, putting him another step closer to cracking open Wakatoshi's mind and extracting information straight from the source. Many people thought Tendou was a frightening opponent, but Wakatoshi thought he was merely interesting instead. Not in an insulting way, but more like the fulfillment of a prophecy. His father had promised him interesting people, and then Tendou had come along and made it all come true.

Tendou had asked him a question, and Wakatoshi was not so dense as to miss the opening this gave him. A chance to tell Tendou how he felt. The situation was perfect, what with the stretch in their muscles from a successful run, the sticky salt that covered them after working up a healthy sweat, and the way that the sky was starting to darken in a deep, dark red that brought out the color of Tendou's hair. 

"Yes," said Wakatoshi. "If they were my… 'type.' I suppose that's what you'd call it."

Tendou was so close that his breath was ruffling the tips of Wakatoshi's bangs. "Oh? And what exactly _ is _ your type?"

Wakatoshi looked back at him, maintaining perfect eye contact. It felt _ powerful_. Intense, maybe. It felt like there was electricity between them, so obvious even he could feel it. "I like…" He analyzed the situation and determined his best course of action was to describe Tendou himself, to see if that provoked a favorable response. "I like very… handsome… people."

For some reason that made Tendou sit back a bit. "Eh?" he said, cocking his head.

"Like the men in the ads," Wakatoshi said. "Very handsome. Attractive. With what you might call perfect faces and hair."

Tendou's eyes blinked so emphatically that they made audible wet sounds. Wakatoshi understood that this was probably a surprise and he must not have been expecting to hear a description of himself.

"Like models?" Tendou asked. He leaned back onto the grass, propped up on his forearms, and that didn't seem right. It seemed like a step in reverse.

"Not the actual models. But people like them."

Tendou snorted and pulled up more grass to fidget with. "There aren't actually people who look like the ones in ads, Wakatoshi-kun. That's all been digitally altered, you know."

"There are still attractive people who aren't digital."

Tendou let out another little laugh, but it wasn't as hearty as usual. "Mm. Yeah, there are." He swung himself to his feet, briefly staggering as his tired legs balanced him on the slope. "Alright, Wakatoshi. We better head back. I need two showers and three baths."

Wakatoshi frowned. It was already dark. He had missed the end of the sunset and the brilliant colors in the sky had been replaced with an inky black. "That would be a waste of water."

This time Tendou's snicker was more authentic sounding. "Okay then! One shower and one bath. Whatever. I need 'em." He reached down to help Wakatoshi up, even though the strength of his pull wasn't anywhere near enough to actually be useful.

As they headed onto their campus — Tendou rambling that the grass stains on his white and magenta shorts would need two tries to fully wash out — Wakatoshi threw a single glance back at the hill and wondered whether he had just missed more than just the sunset.

* * *

After that, Tendou proved to be incredibly hard to pin down.

His evenings grew suddenly busy. He was either helping Kawanishi with block practice or promising to study with Yamagata.

Wakatoshi went on his runs alone, but the cooldown wasn't quite the same without Tendou huffing and puffing a couple paces behind.

After how tired Tendou had been the last time they worked out, he probably wasn't going to be easy to catch unless whatever Wakatoshi suggested didn't include an exhausting run too. It wasn't a sacrifice he wanted to make, but Wakatoshi finally caved. He knocked on Tendou's door, just a little after when he usually came by.

There were a myriad of thunks inside before Tendou answered it. His hair wasn't gelled up and he was in one of his massive, baggy hoodies. "Hey," he said. "Didn't expect _ you _to come by." Tendou's eyes swept up and down Wakatoshi, undoubtedly realizing he wasn't in his typical running gear. "Come on in! I'm just watching anime."

Wakatoshi thanked him politely and stepped inside. The room was fairly neat, though as per usual there were clothes littering the floor. On Tendou's bed was his trusty tablet, screen frozen on an image of a blurry figure mid-battle. There was also a massive bottle of green tea and a bag of crackers, partially spilled.

Tendou made a face when he saw the mess. "I'm gonna be feeling those crumbs all week," he grumbled. He plopped down and beckoned to Wakatoshi to join him. "Cracker?" he offered, holding up one that he plucked off of his pillow.

Wakatoshi took it and ate it, helping Tendou scoop the others back into the bag. They sat side by side, a little squished but otherwise okay.

"Sorry," Tendou said. "I'd have us sit the short way to give your shoulders more room, but then my legs hang off the bed weird and get all restless."

Wakatoshi thought Tendou was fairly squirmy anyway, so it didn't seem like it would matter, but he didn't protest. He nodded to acknowledge Tendou's words.

"More crackers?"

"No, thank you."

"Tea?"

Wakatoshi hesitated before conceding. "Okay."

Tendou passed him the bottle. "You can just drink out of it. I don't care. I promise I'm not getting sick."

The tea was the sweetened variety, not Wakatoshi's favorite, but it still tasted good. He sipped from the bottle on and off as Tendou restarted his show. There were too many characters to keep track of, and Wakatoshi wasn't sure who was good and who was bad, so he entertained himself by watching Tendou's reflection in the black edge of the tablet's glass. His eyebrows rocketed around his face and his jaw alternated between dropping open and slamming shut. Whatever was happening on the screen had his complete attention.

When the next episode ended, Tendou halted the autoplay with a tap from one long finger. "Anything you wanted to watch?" he asked, like Wakatoshi had ever had an opinion on the shows in question.

"I'd like to talk," he said instead.

"Sure." Tendou closed the protective cover on his tablet and crawled along his bed to stick it on his desk. He reached out, stretching the full length of his limbs to slip it on top, and a couple taps with his fingertips managed to scoot it where it didn't look like it would fall. Tendou didn't slide back next to Wakatoshi, choosing instead to sit cross legged at the foot of his bed. "Whatcha wanna talk about? What's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Eh?"

Wakatoshi sat up off the wall and assumed the same seating position as Tendou, albeit with considerably better posture. "Can we play the Monologue Game again?"

Tendou's whole face brightened and his spine snapped straighter than Wakatoshi's. His whole neck elongated, like he was just a caricature of a human. "Yeah! I've missed playing. What's my topic?"

Wakatoshi didn't hesitate. "Relationships."

Tendou's head crooked sideways with incredible flexibility, which made his curtain of hair flip strangely over his part. "You sure?"

"Unless you're uncomfortable with the theme."

"Nah." Tendou's fingers sifted through his sheets until he found his phone. He didn't unlock it, or even check notifications, but he did start spinning it loosely, fiddling and flipping it, always in motion. "It's a good thing I know you're not a malicious guy, Wakatoshi-kun."

That didn't seem to be on topic. Tendou probably hadn't started playing yet, which meant Wakatoshi could still talk to him. He furrowed his brows in confusion, an act that was enough to convey his meaning.

"I just thought that after you rejected me last week, you wouldn't feel comfortable talking about these things. If you were anyone else, I might have thought you were mocking me."

Now Wakatoshi was twice as baffled. "You aren't making sense, Tendou."

Tendou fumbled the phone and it dropped to the bed. "I mean the last time we played. After our run." He leaned forward to prop his chin on his hand which was in turn resting on his knee. The motion curled him almost completely in half, and if he hadn't been in his sweatshirt, Wakatoshi thought he'd be able to see all the bumps of his vertebrae in stark relief. "I was kinda flirting with you pretty hard there."

Wakatoshi blinked once, his hands tightening on the tea bottle in his lap. "I know."

"You do?"

"You were sitting very close."

Tendou threw his head back and laughed. There might be a reason why he gelled his hair all the time. The amount of motion Tendou's body went through in an average day was far too much for a natural hairstyle. "So you _ did _ notice! Yeah, well, I made a bad hunch. I guessed wrong. And I thought I made you kinda uncomfortable." His face softened to something more… normal. "Sorry about that, Wakatoshi-kun."

"I wasn't uncomfortable."

"I forgot you don't feel things like that, huh…" Tendou sighed and picked his phone back up. Spin, flip. Spin, flip. "Something was up though, right? That's why you said that weird stuff about only liking really hot magazine models."

Wakatoshi frowned. "I didn't say that." Had it sounded like he had?

"You did!"

"I said I liked handsome men."

The snort that Tendou let loose sounded almost painful, like it might have inverted his sinuses. "Oh, details schmetails. I was in your face and you started talking about how you're into computer-edited guys with perfect hair and chiseled jaws, and blah blah blah." He smiled nonchalantly, his own form of poker face. "I took the hint and backed off."

Few things annoyed Wakatoshi like total confusion. He was used to things going over his head. He knew the running joke was, ironically, that he didn't have a sense of humor. But those comments were rarely important. They meant nothing to him. They were just little offhand asides that never impacted him again. But in class, when a teacher went over material that didn't come naturally to him, Wakatoshi could grow frustrated. If the problem continued, he'd even end up in a rather bad mood, though it was never something a few solid spikes couldn't fix.

Tendou was a bit of a puzzle to him. Wakatoshi's skill with social cues wasn't the highest, a fact he was aware of but didn't know how to improve. In an attempt to do so, he studied others carefully. It was part of what made him so observant on the court. He took everything in and combed through it for hints and suggestions until he felt reasonably sure he understood the motivations and behaviors involved. But none of this seemed to apply to Tendou.

There were some things Wakatoshi knew, like how Tendou switched to dark humor and foreboding expressions to hide his own emotions. But the catalysts behind a lot of what Tendou did or said contradicted Wakatoshi's studies. It was like trying to guess what an opponent would throw in rock, paper, scissors, but only after reading a ten-page document describing their intellectual strategies and trying to base an opening move off of that. Reading Tendou Satori's mind was an art of making an already impossible task more complex than it needed to be.

The only effective weapon against his obfuscation was direct bluntness.

"I was flirting too," Wakatoshi said.

Tendou rolled his eyes. "It's fine," he said. "I needed a couple days to get over myself, but it's fine."

"I was."

"I'm not trying to start a fight."

Wakatoshi clenched his fists in the blankets. He watched the way Tendou's eyes were drawn to the crumpling fabric as he raised his eyebrows minutely.

"Wakatoshi-kun—"

"I was describing you."

"Me?" It was almost offensive how Tendou said the word. He asked it with an almost condescending casualness, not unlike one might respond to a child who has declared they'll grow up to be a mythical creature. "You said like the guys in ads. There's no one like me in ads."

Wakatoshi shuffled his legs off the bed and rose to his feet, Tendou trailing slightly behind him, though he didn't actually get up.

"Are you leaving?" Tendou asked. "Is this our first fight? I don't think we've ever fought before."

"We aren't fighting," Wakatoshi said. He flipped through the tidy stacks on Tendou's desk, looking for the latest Shonen Jump.

"Huh. Okay." Tendou looked a bit wary, but also a bit excited. "I was thinking we might be about to throw some punches. And I could maybe take you in a grappling match, but your left arm is too strong for me if we come to blows."

"How would violence resolve this?"

Tendou combed his hair back out of his face. "So there _ is _ something to resolve?"

Wakatoshi lifted a chemistry textbook off of the magazine he'd been looking for. Ignoring Tendou's comment, he walked back to the bed and started leafing through, searching for a particular ad. "Here," he finally said, thrusting the pages in Tendou's direction.

"Uh…" Tendou wrinkled his nose. "The cologne ad? Here?"

"Yes."

The picture was of a man in a suit, adjusting his cuffs beside a bottle of undoubtedly expensive scent. The advertisement was entirely in black and white, but it didn't take color to highlight the contours of the man's cheekbones or the shine of his slicked back hair. He smiled smugly out of the page, looking like confidence personified.

When Wakatoshi looked at Tendou's face, he found him clearly struggling not to laugh. "This guy… is… is your _ type? _"

It didn't seem that funny to him. "Sort of. He just reminds me of you."

The dam broke and Tendou tipped sideways on his bed. His long limbs flailed as he cackled, a deep and unnerving sort of laugh that put pressure on something in Wakatoshi's chest. "Him? He reminds you of _ me? _ Wakatoshi, I don't look anything like him! He has short, black hair! And I'm pretty sure he's American!"

"Not his face," Wakatoshi sighed.

"Then what? His trillion-yen suit?"

"His hands." Wakatoshi pointed to where the man was gripping his cuff. The veins were obvious, casting slight shadows that highlighted their presence. The fingers were long and just this side of bony, but the tendons made it clear that the man's hands were still strong and solid. "His hair too," Wakatoshi continued. "Not the color, but the way he has it gelled back. It looks nice."

Tendou clicked his tongue. "Wakatoshi, I'm starting to have serious doubts that you've ever looked at me in your life."

Something wasn't registering in Tendou's mind, that much was clear, but Wakatoshi didn't know how to fix it. "Obviously he's missing a few details," he said. "His mouth is closed, and his shoulders aren't broad enough and his waist doesn't taper like yours." He tapped the page in the appropriate places. "But he's handsome. He's in an ad. And he makes me think of you."

The smile Tendou gave him made Wakatoshi feel like he'd suddenly started speaking in English or had grown a second left arm.

"You're something else!" Tendou laughed. His whole mouth was open again, letting Wakatoshi see straight down his throat. "You tried to describe _ me _ and you decided to say that I have perfect hair and a perfect face and I look like I stepped out of an ad!"

"Yes. Because it's true," Wakatoshi said, and that shut Tendou right up.

He ducked his head to really study Wakatoshi's face, mouth tiny and pinched, almost like a small beak, and eyes wide and glossy. "Well…" he started, "I suppose there's no accounting for taste! Some of us have more than others!" Tendou slipped up to his feet, magazine forgotten and crumpling on his bed. "And it seems you have the most of anyone, Wakatoshi-kun!"

Tendou's wiry hands curled on Wakatoshi's shoulders even though they kept him at arm's length still. "Ushijima Wakatoshi," he said, and the sound of his family name in Tendou's voice made his spine straighten. "Are you asking me out?"

He didn't hesitate to reply, "Yes."

But Tendou still wasn't satiated. His elbows were locked into place, holding Wakatoshi at bay. "Is this some kind of joke to you?"

"I was under the impression that I'm not very good at jokes," Wakatoshi said.

"That's not true. You're hilarious. Other people just don't get your sense of humor."

"I would like to date you, Tendou."

For as long as Wakatoshi had known him, Tendou had many different types of smiles. There were the smirks, of course, off in their own separate category. There were the sneers and the snarls too. Then there were the grins, huge open-mouthed ordeals that Tendou was well known for. But then there was a very specific smile. It was one where Tendou's cheeks squeezed his eyes nearly shut while his mouth stretched out in a long flat line. It was the smile he used after a successful read led to a particularly satisfying block.

And it was the one that warped his face now as his elbows finally bent and he hauled Wakatoshi in for a hug. There was a bony chin on his shoulder and slender fingers pressing indents into his spine, but Wakatoshi carefully raised his arms to wrap around Tendou's torso, hyperaware of how much of them was currently touching.

"Just so we're clear," Tendou said as he drew back again. "We're dating now. You and me. Romantically."

It felt strange to hear, and Wakatoshi felt himself grow warmer. "Yes."

Tendou squawked a laugh as he pointed. "You're blushing! You're actually blushing! You are human after all!" He hopped back down on his bed and shimmied to where he'd been sitting before, giving the space next to him a little pat with his hand. "Pass me my tablet and let's watch another episode."

Wakatoshi nodded and joined him. He sat down carefully, shocked to realize that nothing really seemed different. But he _ felt _ different. It was like when he was having a good athletic day and his muscles were strong yet relaxed, with all his reflexes working at maximum potential.

Then Tendou threw an arm around his shoulders and tucked him into his side, dropping the bag of crackers between them, and a warmth snuck out of Wakatoshi's chest in a burst. It was like the sting on his arms after a powerful receive, rolling across his skin.

The episode started up and Tendou hummed with excitement. Wakatoshi was similarly thrilled, because if he tipped his head just a little further to the side, he had a perfect view of Tendou's face in the reflection on the screen.

* * *

Tendou had called Wakatoshi a romantic.

At the time, he hadn't understood why. Didn't most people want companionship and to express affection for people they cared about? Wakatoshi certainly did. He just didn't always know how to go about it.

With the team, it was easy. Mentioning their strong-suits while matter-of-factly critiquing areas of improvement was a good way to show camaraderie. But with Tendou alone, it proved to be a bit more challenging.

"Don't overthink it, Wakatoshi-kun," Tendou always said.

But that didn't help the fact that he was all too aware of the times Tendou moved in close, clearly waiting for a kiss, or the way Tendou would casually mention that he'd finished studying and would have plenty of free time over the weekend. He never pushed or pressured. He was just there. A constant beside Wakatoshi just like he always had been at the net during matches.

"You're probably fine," Yamagata had advised over lunch one day when Tendou had been busy seeing his academic counselor. "He liked you before, so I'm sure he likes you now. Why change a good thing?"

"Of course you'd say that," Semi sighed. "You're practically allergic to change."

"I am not!"

"You are too!" Semi wrinkled his nose. "You've literally kept the same jersey number since you were a first-year."

"Because it's _ lucky_."

"Then why aren't we in Tokyo right now?"

Yamagata slapped Semi on the head and they scuffled in their seats, shaking the table and sloshing everyone's waters.

"Have you gone on any dates yet?" Ohira asked, seemingly immune to the brawl across from them.

Wakatoshi thought about their continued pattern of anime, runs, and the Monologue Game. "Nothing different from usual."

"Why don't you? Break up your routine and do something special together. I think it'd mean a lot to him."

Wakatoshi nodded, trying to think of what to do, when Semi piped up, his spat with Yamagata forgotten. "Why not the aquarium? There's that one a couple train stops down that the coach took us all to when we first joined the team. For bonding or whatever. I think I remember Tendou having a blast there."

Ohira laughed, politely covering his mouth as he did so. "That's right. He wanted to head straight to the penguins."

"And then when we got to the open sea tank, we could hardly get him to leave," Semi said.

"There was that fish with the huge eyes that looked like him too," added Yamagata. "Right down to the little loopy mouth."

Wakatoshi thought about it carefully. Tendou _ had _seemed to enjoy it there, but with such a large team to wrangle, it hadn't been possible to really take their time. "Thank you," he said. "I think I'll take him this weekend." He finished his last bite of rice and stood up, helpfully taking Yamagata's empty tray as he went.

"And hey, Ushijima," Semi added. "It's Tendou, okay? He knows you and you know him. Loosen up and have fun."

Wakatoshi nodded. "Thank you," he said again.

That night he ordered their train and admission tickets before heading to Tendou's room. He knocked at the door and waited for the typical crashes from inside as Tendou flailed free of whatever blanket he was inevitably wrapped up in.

"Wakatoshi!" Tendou said in greeting. His hair was flattened on one side from where he'd been laying on it. He was just in a plain black t-shirt, but Wakatoshi thought he looked nicer than any model ever did.

"No manga tonight," said Tendou, nattering away as he straightened his sheets out and made room on his bed for Wakatoshi to sit. "I've got a report due Friday, and I've put it off long enough."

"It's Thursday," Wakatoshi said, momentarily forgetting his news.

"Shit… It is, huh. Well! All the more reason for me to finish it tonight!" Tendou sat on his bed again and dragged his textbook and laptop toward himself. "Keep me company?"

"Okay," said Wakatoshi, not that he planned to go anywhere else.

He sat quietly with Tendou's tablet, catching up on some of the matches being played at nationals. A playback of Karasuno versus Inarizaki was fairly interesting. Wakatoshi tried to pick apart why Karasuno's libero had managed to pick up _ his _ serve and not one of the Miya brother's, but it seemed to come down to overhand receives being a particular weakness for the player.

_ I should have noticed that, _ he thought, not that that fateful game haunted him much anymore. It was in the past. He would move on.

After a while, Wakatoshi started to notice Tendou shifting slightly next to him. It seemed unconscious, just little adjustments here and there. And it looked suspiciously like a backache. Considering how Tendou was contorted around his laptop, it was no surprise that he was harboring tension in his spine.

"Tendou," Wakatoshi said, catching his attention. "Hold your laptop."

Without protest, Tendou sat up more and lifted his laptop to balance it on his knees. His head cocked to the side, birdlike, as he stared at Wakatoshi. "Like this?"

Nodding, Wakatoshi scooted in close, fitting himself between Tendou and the wall. He carefully took one of Tendou's shoulders in each hand and squeezed enough to make his intentions clear.

Tendou let out a deep groan and shut his laptop and books, pushing them to the side. "Yes, please," he hissed, already tilting to lay flat on his stomach.

While Wakatoshi hadn't meant to distract him from his writing, he figured this might be for the better. He gently straddled Tendou's hips, seating himself on the back of his thighs, and started softly rubbing the length of Tendou's back to warm up the muscles there.

The room was silent besides the puffs of air being pushed out of Tendou's lungs and the rasp of Wakatoshi's palms against the fabric of his shirt. Slowly and skillfully, Wakatoshi massaged into Tendou's lower back, pressing into tense muscles and kneading them into submission. On occasion his thumb would hit a tight knot and Tendou would let out a quick grunt, followed by reassurance to keep it up. Wakatoshi found countless points of interest on the span between Tendou's shoulder blades, and when he pulled diagonally from shoulder to hip, Tendou's vertebrae settled into place with several loud pops.

"Hoo, hoo, hoooooo… Oh, _ wow, _" Tendou wheezed into his pillow. "Didn't even know that was there."

Wakatoshi repeated the motion on the opposite side and more snaps filled the room.

"Please relax," he said calmly. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm boneless," Tendou muttered back, so Wakatoshi carefully took his head into his grip, and with a well-practiced lurch, cracked his neck.

When he was satisfied that he'd done all he could, Wakatoshi passed Tendou a water bottle from the floor, one that was still half-full. "Drink this," he said firmly.

Tendou didn't move. "Best boyfriend _ ever_," he mumbled into his pillow. "I'm never getting up."

"Tendou. Drink this."

With a moan of fake exasperation, Tendou heaved himself up. His head dangled off his neck like a broken joint, and every movement he made came with the languid drag of the truly relaxed. "Where'd you learn all that?" he asked. "Short of sticking needles into me, I don't know how you could have done a better job."

"Physical therapist," Wakatoshi said. "When I was in grade school through junior high I went to a chiropractor for my shoulder."

"Too much spiking for a little kid?" Tendou asked, wiping his mouth after finishing his bottle as instructed.

"Probably."

"And you learned all this while you were there?"

"My grandmother did. So she could help me when I didn't have appointments. I learned from her."

"Cool, cool."

Wakatoshi frowned as he studied how Tendou was sitting again. "You shouldn't slouch so much when you sit. Using a chair at a desk is the best way to protect your posture while you study."

Tendou snorted inelegantly, dropping his head between his shoulders as he did so. "Wakatoshi-kun… You sound like my mother."

"Then your mother is correct."

A genuine smile slipped across Tendou's face, but it faded faster than it should have.

"Don't give me that look," Tendou said, even though Wakatoshi had no idea what look he was talking about. "That look that means you really wanna ask about my mom."

Sometimes Wakatoshi wondered if Tendou really could read minds. Not that it bothered him. The skill was actually pretty helpful both in volleyball and their day-to-day lives. "Sorry," he said.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong." Despite his earlier protests, Tendou scooted off his bed and into his desk chair, flipping on his lamp so he could rearrange his things under the light. He reopened his laptop and sat there for a bit, fingers perched on the keys motionless. Wakatoshi waited. Finally Tendou deflated with a _ whoosh _of air. "My parents are good but pretty strict." His eyes drooped, half-lidded. "I think they're really gonna like you. My mom would kill for someone to bring a well-behaved significant other over for once. She might even be proud."

Wakatoshi could relate to that. His own mother was very independent and strong-willed. He could still remember what it was like when his father had lived with them and the tense atmosphere that had filled the household. 

"I assumed your family…" Wakatoshi trailed off.

"Would all be like me?" Tendou turned his upper torso around in his chair to stare at him. He draped an arm over the back and rested his chin on it. He was still visibly relaxed, but there was a hint of melancholy too that Wakatoshi didn't like to see. "Yeah, well, they aren't. My father's parents are super traditional. I'm talking homophobic and everything. They wanna know how long before I pass the bar or get my doctorate. My mom's parents are a little better, but still." Tendou shrugged with one shoulder limply. "Old people."

Wakatoshi hummed. "You don't say much about your family."

Tendou spun back around toward his work. "Eh. You have the privilege of knowing the coolest Tendou." He groaned and drooped his head back until he was able to look upside-down at Wakatoshi. "Now I'm pissed off and don't wanna work. Why do I always put things off?"

"Satori."

The name rolled off Wakatoshi's tongue easily. It wasn't the first time he'd said it aloud. He'd whispered it a few times alone in his room at night, letting it bounce off the ceiling and float back down toward him. But it _ was _ the first time he'd said it in front of Tendou. It just felt effortless.

Meanwhile Tendou's eyes were bugging out of his head and his eyebrows had practically vanished into his hairline. "That's new," he said casually, tone completely at odds with his expression.

Wakatoshi stood up beside his chair, before squatting down so they were at eye level with one another. "If you finish this report, will you be free this weekend?"

"Yeah," Tendou said. He still looked spellbound, unblinking as he gaped at Wakatoshi, right-side-up now.

"Saturday, I'd like to take you to the aquarium," Wakatoshi said, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Tendou's shock morphed into ecstatic glee. "Sounds awfully like a date."

"It is."

"Damn right it is." Tendou sighed, staring rather obviously at Wakatoshi's mouth. Then he shook his head like he was settling the loose parts inside. "Okay, then sadly? I'm gonna have to ask you to go. I love having you here, but I gotta cram through this thing so I don't end up having to turn it in late on Saturday." He stood up to wrap his arms around Wakatoshi, squeezing like they might somehow fuse together and share the same exact space. "Goodnight, Wakatoshi-kun."

Wakatoshi steeled himself, carefully turning so he could face the side of Tendou's head without stabbing himself on a spike of hair. "Goodnight, Satori."

The resulting grin was well worth the effort.

* * *

A part of Wakatoshi was almost worried that Tendou wouldn't manage to finish on time. There was a secret cynical place in his mind that insisted that tomorrow's break from routine, this _ date, _would fall through simply because it was something Wakatoshi didn't normally do. Of course, his rational side was aware that just because something was out of the ordinary didn't mean it was doomed to failure.

Even so, he let out a soft sigh of relief when his phone jingled its default tune and a new text alert appeared on the external screen. He flipped open his phone and opened the message quickly.

_ "i'm freeeeeeeeee" _

He carefully typed back a congratulatory reply, then asked to meet at the cafeteria. 

_ "race you there!!" _Tendou sent back.

Wakatoshi had no intention of running to the cafeteria. It was pointless and could be a potential safety hazard for other students in the halls. Still, such a suggestion was typical of Tendou. It was something light-hearted and borderline childish, with enough competitive spirit to encourage participation.

Wakatoshi took the stairs three at a time and barely beat him there.

Tendou was gasping for oxygen as they walked inside together. He was trying to wheeze a laugh around his panting, and it wasn't allowing him to catch his breath.

"I knew it…" he choked out. "I texted you as a joke, but there was… this… this _ chill _ down my spine… and I just _ knew… _" He paused to burp, probably from gulping down so much air. "I knew you'd be running too."

"Well, aren't you two disgusting," Semi said wryly from his seat at their usual table. His unamused expression softened a moment later, revealing the inauthenticity of the statement.

Tendou still scoffed as he stopped leaning the majority of his weight against Wakatoshi's side. "Green's a bad color on you, Eita-kun."

"So you say about most colors."

"No, there are definitely colors that could suit you. You just masterfully avoid wearing any of them."

Semi rolled his eyes but pushed his small pudding cup in their direction. "Here," he said, without any further explanation. Apparently none was needed either, because Tendou instantly scooped the plastic container up and peeled back the lid. With a squeeze at the base, he collapsed the cup while pushing all of the pudding into his mouth at once.

He thanked Semi — presumably, since the Japanese was badly butchered by the food stuffed in his cheeks — and started to tug on Wakatoshi's sleeve, nodding toward the lunch line.

"Excited about tomorrow?" Tendou asked once his throat was clear.

"Yes." Wakatoshi grabbed two trays from the stack for them. "We haven't gone on a proper date yet. I look forward to it."

Tendou stared at him out of the corner of his eye, the rest of his face pointed toward the food service line. "Proper date, huh? You spoil me."

Wakatoshi didn't get how going on a date when you were already dating would do something like that, and so he said as much.

"Nah, it's not like that," said Tendou. He started to fill a bowl with soup, even if he was dripping across the entire counter as he did so. "I guess I never thought it'd be like this if I ever asked you out."

They both fell silent as they finished serving up their food, but Wakatoshi was buried in his thoughts. He'd assumed Tendou would want to go on dates with him. Wasn't that part of being someone's boyfriend? Even Ohira had said it sounded like something Tendou would like. How was he already failing to live up to Tendou's imagined standards? Which brought another question to mind…

"You've thought about what it might be like if we were dating?" Wakatoshi asked, just as they sat down with their friends.

A few others had arrived too, including Goshiki, who did a full spit-take at his words.

"Sure, yeah," Tendou admitted easily.

Yamagata couldn't seem to hold in his snort of derision. "That's underplaying it a bit, don't you think? What, it was only every other day that'd you show up here like, '_ Don't you think Wakatoshi-kun would make a wonderful boyfriend?' _" At the end of his sentence, Yamagata pitched his voice funny, widening his eyes excessively and sticking out his top lip.

"Oh, yeah," Semi said around his own mouthful of food. "All the time." He swallowed audibly. "Half the team was ready to forge a confession note for you just to get him to shut up."

Tendou laughed. If he was embarrassed at all, he didn't show it. "It worked out in the end, didn't it? Now we're going on a _ date. _" He flashed a wide grin that showed off the majority of his teeth.

"If you want to," Wakatoshi added.

For some reason, that made everyone at the table pause and look at him.

"Uh. Duh. Of course I do." The uncanny gleam that Tendou's eyes got mid-match was back again, and he was using it to scan Wakatoshi's face. "Was I not just saying that?"

"You said you didn't think it would be like this. When you imagined us dating."

It turned out _ this _ was what it took to dent Tendou's composure. An actual flush slithered across his face, starting from his ears and the tip of his nose and blossoming out from there. Wakatoshi sort of understood now why Tendou had made such a big deal about his own flustered expression. It was entrancing to see, and even though Wakatoshi was well used to the feeling of power, it was nothing like this: knowing he'd caused this reaction. Even if he didn't know _ how _he'd caused it.

"Um…" Tendou stuttered, genuinely caught off guard. "Yeah, well."

Wakatoshi pushed aside thoughts of Tendou's expression so he could focus on the matter at hand. "What am I doing differently than you imagined?"

Goshiki was staring so intently at his plate that it looked like he was trying to bore holes through his rice, and next to him, Ohira gave a quiet cough into his fist.

"I'll— I'll tell you later," Tendou finally managed.

"Okay." Wakatoshi started to eat his food, letting the awkward atmosphere relax again, until Shirabu and Goshiki were openly squabbling and the attention was fully shifted away from their end of the table.

With a quirk at one corner of his mouth, Tendou leaned into Wakatoshi's side slightly, still picking at his tray, and if he tensed up when Wakatoshi slid an arm around his shoulders, no one commented or stared too long.

Later couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Afternoon classes preoccupied them both for the rest of the day, but then it was early evening, and instead of his typical run and workout, Wakatoshi headed straight for Tendou's dorm room. He knocked for about two minutes before coming to the conclusion that no one was there, so he did a quick lap around campus to all the usual locations where his boyfriend might be.

Stumped, Wakatoshi admitted defeat and headed back to his room to change clothes. He'd go for that run after all, he decided. He always felt better after he did, and sometimes the physical activity was what he needed to puzzle through difficult problems. Problems like what to do when Tendou Satori, who is unreadable on a good day, was giving off the general impression that he wasn't as comfortable with being in a relationship as he should be.

It wasn't too late to call their date off. Although… he'd seemed like he'd been really looking forward to it too.

Maybe Wakatoshi shouldn't have wrapped an arm around him at lunch. But then again, they'd been more physically affectionate than that before they were dating. And all of that had been initiated by Tendou to begin with. By the end of the day they'd met, Tendou had held him in a half-hug, half-headlock and declared he'd make a friend out of him before they graduated high school if it was the last thing he did.

Could it possibly be that Tendou didn't want to date him at all? That was a thing, Wakatoshi was pretty sure. It was actually fairly common for people to like the _ idea _ of dating someone, without wanting it to truly come to fruition.

Everything was jumbling up in Wakatoshi's head, and as someone who was relatively inexperienced with such things as self-doubt, he found himself unable to rectify any of his concerns. All he had to go on was the sight of Tendou's face, bright red like his hair, and the way he'd refused to elaborate in front of their teammates. And now he was nowhere to be found. Avoiding Wakatoshi? He couldn't be sure.

But before he could work himself up into an actual frenzy over his thoughts, he turned the corner to his room and found Tendou already outside his door, fist raised mid-knock.

"Wakatoshi!" Tendou chirped. He swooped in like nothing was amiss, hugging him close without smashing the full plastic bag he held in his arms.

Not for the first time, Wakatoshi desperately wished he had a better grasp of people and social cues.

"Wanna start a pre-date?" asked Tendou. "I bought some food after class. The konbini was out of the unsweetened tea — I know you like that one better — but I got you a sweetened one anyway, because I know you'll still drink it. And I got some Pocky, because that seemed like an essential no-brainer… Oh! And some more crackers, but this time with nori, and… Do you like pickled plums in your onigiri? I got one with red bean too for me, but if you like it better you can have it." He kept sorting through the bag as Wakatoshi opened his door to let them both in. "Uh, let's see, there's some mochi in here somewhere. I think it's under the crackers. And some—"

"Satori."

Wakatoshi was quickly becoming addicted to how effective that was at getting his attention.

"Mmhm?"

Now that he finally had found him, he wasn't sure what to say. How did people articulate their emotions? How did they manage to tell others how they were feeling? It seemed too complicated for words.

Tendou had one eyebrow raised. He seemed confused by Wakatoshi's confusion. "Do you… not… like pickled plums?" he asked hesitantly.

Wakatoshi thought about how he was struggling to start his discussion. Then he thought about the Monologue Game. About the importance of letting things out in small bits, until the fractured rambles eventually made up a whole conversation.

"My topic is 'dating,'" he said. Tendou's other eyebrow shot up to join the first. "Specifically us dating, and what I think about it."

"Okay." Tendou closed his bag by twisting the plastic handles and then set it by the door. He crossed his arms and leaned against the frame, the very picture of casual relaxation, yet the lack of animation to his facial expression was foreboding.

"You can sit down," Wakatoshi said.

"No thanks. I'm pretty comfortable right here."

He frowned. "Are you breaking up with me, Tendou?"

"I'm not." A pause. "Are you breaking up with _ me? _"

"No. Definitely not."

Tendou reinflated and pushed away from the wall. He crossed the room and sat on Wakatoshi's bed, right next to him but not touching. "Okay. Good. Because that was about to be the shortest relationship in the history of… like, ever."

Wakatoshi turned to regard him. "You thought I was breaking up with you?"

"You came in here all quiet and upset and said you wanted to talk about us dating!" Tendou replied. "What was I supposed to think! And why did you think that I was breaking up with you first?"

"In the cafeteria… You said you'd explain later."

Someday, Wakatoshi hoped, he'd get to see Tendou blush and know _ why _ it was happening. Then he'd truly get to enjoy causing the reaction. Until then, he siphoned what little happiness he could from watching Tendou's impeccable composure break, waiting for elaboration.

"Right. I did say that." Never one to shy away from a challenge, Tendou cleared his throat and started talking, eyes never leaving the wall in front of them. "I just never thought… That is to say, it never occurred to me…"

Wakatoshi remembered all the times he stuttered or faltered during their monologue game. Tendou always knew what to say to encourage him or help him along. "Take your time. Start anywhere," he said, parroting the words Tendou had always used on him.

The smile and sideways glance indicated that the parallel was clear. "Okay," Tendou said, starting again. "I thought about what it would be like to date you. I thought about it a lot! Obviously. But I never planned to actually, you know, _ confess. _" He looked down at his hands now, with the long fingers that Wakatoshi adored. "It was mostly because I never thought you'd actually like me back. Or at least, not enough to date me, because let's face it, I'm irresistible!"

"You thought I'd say no?"

"You aren't exactly the poster boy for 'dating fanatic,' Wakatoshi-kun. I guess I thought you'd let me down easy. Say we were still friends but you were, like, married to volleyball."

"You can't marry a sport."

Tendou snorted and propped his chin on his hand. His eyes were still half-lidded and unfocused, like underneath his nonchalance he too was nervous. "Anyway, I guess that mentality even slipped into my dating fantasies, because whenever I pictured us _ together… _ you still weren't… _ that _ into me."

Irrationally, Wakatoshi felt a stab of anger toward his hypothetical, fictional self.

"I thought us being together would be basically the same as us being friends. We just might… hold hands or make out or something too. But I figured it'd be my job to be all over you, and you would just kinda like me in your own way. Where _ I _could tell you liked me, but other people might not." Tendou huffed a self-deprecating laugh. "Sounds dumb saying it out loud though. You've never done anything that you weren't completely committed to."

Wakatoshi let the connections snap together, assembling the puzzle that he'd been obsessing over all afternoon. "When you said dating me wasn't like you imagined, you meant it in a positive way."

"Of course!" Tendou's back snapped ramrod straight, the way Wakatoshi wished he would sit all the time, if only for the good of his spine. "I didn't mean you were falling short or anything!" His eyes were huge and round and so very very close to Wakatoshi's own. "Dating you has been better than I could ever have dreamt up! You're a not-so-secret romantic, Wakatoshi-kun. Consider me wooed."

"So the others all knew about this?" he asked.

"Oh. Yeah. Nothing could make them all go into a Pity Satori Party faster than thinking about that." Tendou rolled his eyes and rested his head on Wakatoshi's shoulder, spine curling again. "'Poor Satori… Likes Wakatoshi, but will never have his feelings openly reciprocated.'"

Wakatoshi felt a bit of embarrassment himself at the thought that his own teammates assumed he wouldn't show affection for a romantic partner.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter, does it? Because you gave me a back massage and you get all physical-contacty with me and you hold my hand." Tendou tilted his head to look up at him. "Excellent boyfriend."

"You're okay with me putting an arm around you then?"

"Duh! I highly encourage it!"

Wakatoshi nodded. "You were tense when I did it earlier."

Tendou groaned and flopped backward onto the bed, which left a cooling spot on Wakatoshi's shoulder. He rubbed his eyes with his palms, visibly frustrated. "Was I really? It was just surprise then. That you were doing that. In front of our friends."

"Our teammates, you mean."

One hand lifted so Tendou could give him a weird, squinty look. His nose wrinkled up, exacerbating the effect. "Pretty sure they're our friends."

"Maybe. They've never said so."

"Wakatoshi." The tone of voice was dry, but Tendou's expression was affectionate. His eyebrows were pinched together and tipped up high on his forehead, and his mouth was long and thin with amusement. "They're afraid _ you _ don't consider them friends. They'd love to be, if you'll let them. Actually…" His voice trailed off so he could laugh into his fist. "I wanna be there the first time you call Tsutomu and Kenjirou your friends. So wait for me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now, can we get our pre-date started? As much as I love talking about your famous poker face and _ our _ mutual friends, I spent a lot of money on food, and I'm dying to eat it with you." Tendou launched to his feet in one smooth motion, reaching for the plastic sack that was waiting patiently for them.

But Wakatoshi had one more thing he had to say. "Our 'poker faces' are very different."

"Pretty sure no one has ever accused me of having a poker face," said Tendou, immediately sticking his tongue out and screwing his face up into the strangest contortion he could manage.

There was something to be said about that fact that Wakatoshi still found it attractive.

"You're hard to read, Tendou."

"Pshh. Well, _ yeah, _ that's the point. Keep em guessing."

"But you're also very good with words. You can change the subject and get out of just about any discussion. Without having to get too emotional or open."

Tendou was stiller then he'd ever seen him before. Like he wasn't even breathing.

"I can tell when you're upset or worried, because you rely more on humor and you have this fake sort of…" Wakatoshi pointed at his own blank face. "…smile. It doesn't reach your eyes."

There was a slight tremor to Tendou's hands. It was barely visible, but the audible crinkle of the bag made it more obvious. "Well, you know what they say. 'The eyes are the windows to the s—'"

"You have very large eyes, Tendou."

A dry laugh, devoid of actual humor.

"They're expressive, and when they lose that, it's noticeable." Wakatoshi frowned and amended his statement. "Or at least it is to me."

"Sometimes I forget how observant you are," Tendou said. His voice was surprisingly soft, and there was a rare furrow to his brow that wasn't paired with a snarl. "I do a _ lot _ of looking at and studying of other people. And I mean a _ lot. _But I forget that you do too. Sometimes it seems like you only ever care about yourself. Not in a selfish way! Just that you are only concerned with what you can change and affect."

"Communication is important in any relationship."

Tendou sent him that good smile again. The secret flat one that lit up his whole face in a way that the gaping, bug-eyed ones never did. "Then I'll work on it."

"We both will."

"Yeah. Give and take." 

The smile didn't fade. Wakatoshi felt something pulling inside of him. Something that connected the two of them. Something abstract, and far from concrete, like the sort of thing that drove him out of bed every morning to hit the pavement for a morning jog or that kept him running and jumping in a match even when his muscles were exhausted.

Wakatoshi had incredible physical control over himself, which meant he was just as surprised when his mouth and throat worked without his express permission.

"May I kiss you, Tendou?"

Tendou actually dropped the bag. It tipped from his loosened fingers and spilled sideways. A bottle of green tea rolled all the way under Wakatoshi's desk, but neither of them looked at it.

In a heartbeat, before Wakatoshi could even determine that he had moved, Tendou had abandoned the food and was back across the bed next to him. His eyes were huge and close again, and this time…

"Yes," Tendou said.

Despite the explicit permission, neither of them moved.

"Have you kissed anyone before?" asked Tendou.

Wakatoshi found that his body was abandoning its routine habits. Things like breathing and swallowing, that came so naturally, required thought to continue. He had concerns that his heart might give out if he wasn't actively ordering it to beat. "Yes," he answered.

"Really? Who?" Even now, Tendou's curiosity shone.

"A… girl. Back in grade school. We were playing house."

"That doesn't count."

"And… another girl. A classmate. In junior high."

"Were you a couple?"

"No. She confessed. I didn't reply. She kissed me."

"Did you kiss back?"

"She stopped very quickly."

Tendou laughed quietly. "Then that doesn't count either."

Wakatoshi was starting to sweat. The room wasn't very warm, and yet he felt overheated. "There was another classmate too. Last year."

"Really now?"

"She— We— It was after we got back from nationals."

Tendou leaned back a little, but not enough to worry him. "Admirer?"

"Yes. She asked to kiss me. I didn't see why that would be a problem."

"Wow! You said yes?! That's amazing!" The words were completely authentic and without a shred of jealousy. Tendou seemed genuinely happy to hear that Wakatoshi had kissed someone.

"It was nice. But then she confessed and I had to turn her down."

"Wakatoshi, you heartbreaker!" Tendou's cheeks hadn't descended from a wide grin in several minutes. Hopefully his face wasn't stuck. "I can't believe it! I'm so jealous!"

Or maybe there _ was _jealousy, after all.

"Not that you were kissing a different classmate," Tendou continued, waving a hand like he was physically dismissing the notion. "Just that you got your first kiss before me."

That seemed odd. "You haven't kissed anyone before?"

"Nah. I mean, people haven't exactly been lining up over here. We can't all be Ushijima Wakatoshi, wing spiker, high school ace, and on the U19 World Youth Team!"

"Okay."

Tendou snickered. "That's your chance to say, _ 'It's time we changed that.' _" He made his voice comically low for Wakatoshi's benefit.

"You're a middle blocker, and I can't get you onto the U19 team."

"No, Wakatoshi! I mean the fact I haven't been kissed." Tendou's grin was all teeth now, and the half-lidded eyes weren't to hide negative thoughts, but rather to exaggerate positive ones. Like the fact that he was clearly still waiting for Wakatoshi to move in.

Carefully, summoning up every memory he could of watching dramas with his mother or romcoms with his father, Wakatoshi lifted one hand to cup Tendou's jaw. His skin was cool to the touch, confirming that the room wasn't as heated as it felt, and his head moved easily, allowing Wakatoshi to move it as he pleased.

There was an awful lot of trust placed on him at all times during volleyball. Yet it had never felt like this. Who would have known that the possibility of letting down a single person would be more intense than letting down six.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Wakatoshi said softly.

"Sounds good."

They paused for a moment more, Wakatoshi's determination faltering only briefly, until he saw the way Tendou's head shook slightly in his own wobbly grasp, like how the plastic of the bag had shaken in Tendou's hands just minutes before.

Complete and total trust.

He kissed him.

It wasn't magical, but it was surprising. There was no spark, but Wakatoshi definitely felt his heart hammering in his chest.

He really didn't remember what a kiss felt like. The memory was fuzzy and warped. Everything had always happened so fast, and chaste kisses like this really didn't feel like much of anything. True, Tendou's mouth felt as odd as it looked, but Wakatoshi liked his mouth so he liked kissing it too.

Whether he remembered it or not, kissing his other classmates hadn't felt like this. But he almost felt badly wondering if maybe _ they _ had experienced this when he hadn't: the frantic pattering of the heart and sweaty palms and the thrill that stuck in the stomach. If so, Wakatoshi admired their composure, and the way they'd walked away after the fact when he currently felt like he was unable to even stand.

He carefully pulled back, finally taking pride in being the cause of Tendou's flush, and even knowing _ why _ and _ how _ he'd managed it.

"You're blushing," he said dumbly.

"Yeah, and? You are too," Tendou shot back.

"Okay."

Tendou's mouth opened to speak again, but Wakatoshi prevented it by reeling him back in with the hand still on his jaw.

Kissing Tendou was surprisingly wet. Considering this was the same lip-to-lip he'd experienced before, there was a definite increase in moisture here. There were no tongues or swapping of saliva, but Tendou's upper lip curled just enough to press the soft, smooth underside against Wakatoshi's own. When they leaned away again, the damp spot felt cool as the air hit it.

The fact that Tendou was struggling to contain a grin probably didn't help.

Wakatoshi couldn't hide a small smile of his own.

"What's that for?" Tendou asked. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"No?"

"Then what's with the sneer."

"This is my smile."

"Oh. Sorry." Tendou poked at the corners of Wakatoshi's mouth. "It's cute."

"Thank you."

"You don't give toothy grins very often."

"Mm."

"Hey, Wakatoshi. Wanna make out?"

The actual intricacies of how to "make out" were lost on Wakatoshi. He knew the basic components, but not how to execute them properly. He wished briefly that he had a coach to train him, before dismissing the notion as ridiculous. He had Tendou.

"Yes. I would," he said, and the way Tendou's grin widened was only an encouragement.

As if it was some momentous task that required preparation, Tendou shimmied in place and shuffled over, finally raising his arms from where he'd been clenching his fists on his knees to drape them over Wakatoshi's shoulders, bringing them closer together.

Wakatoshi turned his body slightly more in Tendou's direction, then eased his other hand to the small of his back for support, as well as to ensure he wasn't slouching.

If he'd thought kissing Tendou was wet, making out with him was even more so.

_ You have a lot of mouth, _Wakatoshi thought, though he didn't say it out loud. It seemed like the kind of thing that would be taken as an insult, even though he didn't mean it that way. The bony elbows on his shoulders, the long and gangly neck, and the sharp nose pressing into his cheek were all benefits of being with Tendou, even if the average person wouldn't properly appreciate such features.

Tendou's tongue was definitely nimbler than Wakatoshi's, but it also got a better workout on an average day than his did in a week, so that wasn't surprising. It licked confidently into Wakatoshi's mouth, and he thought of more things he'd never be able to say, like the fact that Tendou's tongue fit better shared between both of them than it did in his own mouth alone.

The taste was unique too, but not so unique that Wakatoshi had never tasted it before. In fact, it was kind of like… like…

To both of their displeasure, he broke the kiss, which might have been good, because Tendou took the moment to gasp for air.

"Did you eat before you came here?" Wakatoshi asked.

Tendou barked an ugly laugh. The one that sounded like an aborted cackle, choking off in his airway before it could reach its full potential. "I drank a melon soda. From those vending machines right before you reach campus."

"You taste sweet."

"How do you know that isn't just me?"

Wakatoshi gave him an unamused look, but it was inauthentic. It still made Tendou smile though, an expression that lingered even as he lifted his long legs off of Wakatoshi's lap, where they had made themselves comfortable without him even noticing.

"As great as this has been, I'm _ starving. _ It's food time."

Wakatoshi nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"We can make out more later."

"Okay."

"But in that case…" Tendou looked up at him, face half in shadow. It was ominous, and captured Wakatoshi's full attention. "You can't eat the pickled plums. I won't kiss you after that."

"What if I brush my teeth."

"I'll still know you ate them."

The pride on Tendou's face when Wakatoshi huffed a laugh at that only made it difficult not to laugh harder.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to the ushiten discord server i love you all dearly ;__; let's have fun this week!  
***  
the second half will be posted on the 29th!
> 
> ***
> 
> twitter: @newttxt


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